I… killed my relationship with someone recently. Well, I think so. We were best pals / sisters / companions. And I know she’ll be my best pal forever. We know what each other have been through. We have pulled each other away from the grave hole. We have staggered through the ‘wars’ together. We nursed each others wound. And yet a blast of conversation ended it all.
If you want to know how I can be so cold in boy-girl-love-relationship, it is because something else made up for it, significantly. I am a total loser in any other relationship, e.g. friendship. I ache more over a ruined friendship than I would ever over a romantically involved relationship.
Yet it is only after losing her that I realized her significance in my life. I regret my words very much. Hers stings deeply too. But what really pains me is I realized I’ve hurt the person I treasured most. I tried talking to her (reconciling) but her silence and ignore made it clear I was no longer any more important than nothing to her. She made me feel rejected, insignificant and unimportant. And it hurt more than any mortal agony.
She made me realized all these while when I was giving up, she was the one pushing from behind. All the time, I felt like leaving, she made me stay behind. Every down moment, she’s bound to be in the scene. She erased the pains, bandaged the wounds and gave me the strength to start all over, to accept what seemed unacceptable. But now she’s left, I feel so weak all over. She’ll remain my most treasured miracle in this life. Our memories will be my sweet dream every night.
Two days later…
We talked and laughed like the nightmare never happened. I guess we both know we shared so much we practically embed each others soul that we couldn’t let just one blow blast away our friendship. I’m just too happy for words. I guess relationships can only get stronger after some squabbles. Our mutual understanding has gone far beyond. In any way, I thank her for once again making me feel whole. :)
If you want to know how I can be so cold in boy-girl-love-relationship, it is because something else made up for it, significantly. I am a total loser in any other relationship, e.g. friendship. I ache more over a ruined friendship than I would ever over a romantically involved relationship.
Yet it is only after losing her that I realized her significance in my life. I regret my words very much. Hers stings deeply too. But what really pains me is I realized I’ve hurt the person I treasured most. I tried talking to her (reconciling) but her silence and ignore made it clear I was no longer any more important than nothing to her. She made me feel rejected, insignificant and unimportant. And it hurt more than any mortal agony.
She made me realized all these while when I was giving up, she was the one pushing from behind. All the time, I felt like leaving, she made me stay behind. Every down moment, she’s bound to be in the scene. She erased the pains, bandaged the wounds and gave me the strength to start all over, to accept what seemed unacceptable. But now she’s left, I feel so weak all over. She’ll remain my most treasured miracle in this life. Our memories will be my sweet dream every night.
Two days later…
We talked and laughed like the nightmare never happened. I guess we both know we shared so much we practically embed each others soul that we couldn’t let just one blow blast away our friendship. I’m just too happy for words. I guess relationships can only get stronger after some squabbles. Our mutual understanding has gone far beyond. In any way, I thank her for once again making me feel whole. :)
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