Sal was humming ‘humorously’, but in fact Sal’s brain was exploding with all the dues and plans that met with much more obstacles than Sal had unexpectedly expected. With Sal’s mind vigorously doing the ‘organizing’ and equations of obstacles taunting to fail Sal’s plans and dreams, Son came and got Sal by surprise from behind. At first, Sal was merely taken off guard, and accepted the ‘deed’ well. It was after all a long time lame joke they shared among themselves.
But Son overdid it and Sal’s reaction distorted radically within the smallest fraction of a millisecond, from an uneasy acceptance, to a fiery reject. Sal turned around and gave the murderous glare at a laughing Son, and before Sal herself even knew it, Sal saw a Son’s shocking expression, and as the pain stung Sal’s heart, Sal woke up from the fierce blaze of anger and realized what happened. Besides a helpless yelp of pain, Son took hold of the left side of own cheeks, stupefied. With Sal’s heart beating at a violent thumping rate, Sal turned away, shocked by what was done.
Quietly, they both settled at their own matters separately. Sal knew Sal had hurt Son beyond imagination, because Sal felt the excruciating wound from within too. Sal wanted to see if Son was hurt, physically, because Sal was sure, emotionally, the wound was too deep for words, but felt too guilty to even face Son and look straight into Son’s upset eyes.
What Son didn’t know was that Sal had muttered ‘sorry’ from the moment Sal turned away from Son’s offended expression. Sal went to bed, muttering ‘sorry’ to sleep. Sal knew the damage was beyond repair, but maybe… *Sigh* ‘Maybe’ was already used too many times before, that Sal seriously doubted that it would again occur to the incident that night. There was no more ‘maybe’ than there was any chance of returning to perfect times. Sal sorry-ed to sleep, dreamt being sorry and woke up to a sorry day. Sal is sorry. Son, Sal is sorry, very sorry.
Son may say, “But maybe just not enough to mutter it out loud.”
Sal says: “It’s not that it’s not enough, but in fact Sal’s too sorry, too guilty, especially in front of Son’s offended eyes.”
Sal is sorry. Sal doesn’t ask of Son to accept it… just to know of it. There is no anger, or hatred, or avenging revulsion, but pure guilt… and further guilt and behind that mound of guilt, is an even deeper love.
R@in’s creation
April 27, 2006
But Son overdid it and Sal’s reaction distorted radically within the smallest fraction of a millisecond, from an uneasy acceptance, to a fiery reject. Sal turned around and gave the murderous glare at a laughing Son, and before Sal herself even knew it, Sal saw a Son’s shocking expression, and as the pain stung Sal’s heart, Sal woke up from the fierce blaze of anger and realized what happened. Besides a helpless yelp of pain, Son took hold of the left side of own cheeks, stupefied. With Sal’s heart beating at a violent thumping rate, Sal turned away, shocked by what was done.
Quietly, they both settled at their own matters separately. Sal knew Sal had hurt Son beyond imagination, because Sal felt the excruciating wound from within too. Sal wanted to see if Son was hurt, physically, because Sal was sure, emotionally, the wound was too deep for words, but felt too guilty to even face Son and look straight into Son’s upset eyes.
What Son didn’t know was that Sal had muttered ‘sorry’ from the moment Sal turned away from Son’s offended expression. Sal went to bed, muttering ‘sorry’ to sleep. Sal knew the damage was beyond repair, but maybe… *Sigh* ‘Maybe’ was already used too many times before, that Sal seriously doubted that it would again occur to the incident that night. There was no more ‘maybe’ than there was any chance of returning to perfect times. Sal sorry-ed to sleep, dreamt being sorry and woke up to a sorry day. Sal is sorry. Son, Sal is sorry, very sorry.
Son may say, “But maybe just not enough to mutter it out loud.”
Sal says: “It’s not that it’s not enough, but in fact Sal’s too sorry, too guilty, especially in front of Son’s offended eyes.”
Sal is sorry. Sal doesn’t ask of Son to accept it… just to know of it. There is no anger, or hatred, or avenging revulsion, but pure guilt… and further guilt and behind that mound of guilt, is an even deeper love.
R@in’s creation
April 27, 2006
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