What - it's my net problem!

Haha, okay, 50% net problem, 5000% busy, 0.0000005% lazy! Ahaksss...

Hmmh, I duno, mebe it's harder to blog wen you're not in the mood for it, is super-sonicly busy and the net connection is there to challenge your patience...

Ahem, I'm *supposed* to be studying for test, otherwise, do my FYP that is drowning in the drain, or do something to the MYR host that is failing every other day! Urghh...

MOONCAKE Dinner

Yes, really mooncake dinner, NOT mooncake festival dinner celebration, I had mooncake for dinner! It's like someone in heaven knows I didn't have dinner, then for 2 nights in a row, people send mooncake to my doorstep when I was about to rush to kitchen to dig out watever possible to be dinner... Wow, sumtimes u just appreciate that so much! Yeah, it's really surprising, both nights, just as I was about to die of hunger and want to find dinner, people hold mooncake before me! At the same moment you know haha... Was kinda busy, and I had half a mooncake for dinner for two days... but after that I dun think I ever want to touch mooncake anymore... SO SWEET!!! Not until next year la...

Ok, Let me recall, oh yes, the 'interview', gosh it seems so not funny now that I have a million things to do but well, ok, here's the story:

(1) Lying - not my thing (not that I don't want it to be :P)

Back then (forgot when but not so long ago), we were having our final presentation for our lab, kinda critical since our circuit doesn't work at all, we were just poking the wires here and there hoping for it to miraculously work, but honestly in the end, the demonstrator was demonstrating to us more than us to him. During this time, this bunch of my groupmates, whom I'm not so close to (cause I took diff specialization than other familiar friends), gave me this funny look and stammered sumthing. Then, one of them asked me (censored since it involves another's reputation :P). Well, since it's not really concerning me, but they're curious to know from me cause I'm close to the person, I just said, "Ask (the person) directly."

Honestly, I'm the worst liar on earth (not that I've not tried), I think people know straight away if I even attempt, so to avoid unnecessary discomfort and humiliation of myself while trying to 'lie', usually I will just advice people to ask the person directly or just keep quiet. haha... I don't know, lying is just not my thing. I remember once I was all prepared with the 'fake' experiment results to be shown to the demo, but because of my 'superb' lying skills, my whole group was 'interviewed' by the lab demonstrator about the ‘fake’ results, haha I guess they know they just sent the wrong representative to talk... One of the members gave me the look, "how bad a liar can you be to not even able to lie as little as that?" haha... They later gave me tips and examples of how I should have ‘lied’ -_-“, which to them, should be anyone’s (especially undergraduates’) basic living skills.

So if you’ve something you don’t want to be told to the others, try to save me the trouble – don’t tell me as well. I know you think I’m safe to tell since my mouth hardly open, but it makes my life living hell when others come to me about it. Because saying “I don’t know” is also lying (I know I’m stupid) since I do know. People somehow know when I say “I don’t know” that I’m actually lying, and they pester on. Your secrets are safe, but my sanity is not.

(2) How do you interpret (see) someone

Moving on, they again pester again, seeing I revealed nothing except shifting uneasily at their questions. Haha… They said, “Hey, you, A, B and C are so close, do you not fall for any of them?” (A, B and C are obviously my guy friends). My first reaction is, “Huh, what kind of question is that?”

Then, I realize, there are truth to what they said. We’re kinda close (but in my opinion not that close except with A maybe). So of course, my spontaneous answer was “No.” and they look at me like I’m an alien born without a beating heart. I think I said it in a ‘of-course-not and never will be’ tone, that they were taken aback. I can tell by their look, that two gender friends can never be just friends – something I totally disagree.

So how do I interpret or ‘see’ my friends? I usually interpret them, guy or girl as a friend based on their characteristic and personality, not as a guy or as a girl! It’s funny I know, but their gender do not occur to me at all (unless it is someone I’m interested in haha! J/k). I’m not insulting them saying they’re not like guys/girls, it’s just... I don’t know, I don’t happen to think of someone as a guy or a girl first. In fact, it never occurs to me unless the situation requires it (but there seem to be none). So you can say I’ve no boundaries with friends. Haha. Sound so ‘sui pian’… anyway, Of course if it’s a new friend, and since I don’t know the person, naturally I will be reminded of him/her as a guy/girl. So, yeah of course they’re more boundaries with guy friends than with girl ones. (Since I’m from an all girls school, I’ve more courage to talk to girls ahaha)

But yes, for familiar friends, they’re no longer a guy or a girl, they’re all just friends. People I treasure and appreciate, laugh with, talk with, go crazy with… People I can count on… Hehe, maybe that is why I don’t fall easily since I hardly think of anyone by their gender.

Okay, that was the end of the interview. I can see they don’t believe me, but, well, they should know I can hardly tell lies… haha…

(3) Jealousy

I never learnt the definition of this word until recently. (I will not elaborate, yes, this is a post you’ve to read between lines). Actually, I was fed jealousy when I least expect it. But how strong was my jealousy? Not even strong enough to make it surface, or maybe I chose to keep it down. Haha, someone accidentally told me something I never expect to hear, but after I heard it, I was even more surprised that I actually felt jealousy.

This person who told me the news was just a third party and not involved in this case. Actually the news was not a surprise, and its not the first time (for the person involved in the news) has done this before. And when this third party guy tells me, I was nodding, oh yeah no wonder this, no wonder that to MYSELF. I was keeping quiet on the outside. :)

What scared me was the jealousy, because I don’t want to feel the jealousy, because then it would mean I have lied to myself all these while, so I used MYR to keep myself as busy as sleeping 3 hours a day, so I wouldn’t even have the strength to be reminded, but of course, its something that will resurface after you settle down. So well, I’m blogging it out, throwing it away.

By the way, I really pity workaholic, because I think I’ve transformed into one during that one week trying to forget it. You can’t even sleep well, you’ll just jump out of bed anytime and start working, you can’t rest because you can’t calm down, but yes you’re tired, but you just can’t stop. I can’t really explain the feeling, but it was kinda like you’ve a motor on 24/7 and going to rest is really hard. But you can feel your body worn out and everything… Thank god I think mine was a one week workaholic syndrome, now I’m back to my 6 hours sleep haha…

(4) Memories

I’ve very bad memory, but I don’t know why some of my friends say I have good one. I’ve a major problem with recognizing people’s face. I can recognize less than 10% of my 5-years coursemate. I tried counting how many Malay coursemates that I know by face and by name, it shockingly amounts to 5.

But then maybe human are not suppose to be totally weak, so I happen to have a really extremely good memory of this one thing. Only this one thing - I also don’t know why. Every single detail, happening, memory of this thing, I won’t or rather I can’t (cause I tried) forget. Last night, it’s like someone playing a prank on me, I’m reminded of it (I’d rather not go through the detail of how I was reminded). I so clearly declared it was finally a past that I’ve let go of (some time ago), but now I know, I’ve merely buried it somewhere under myself. The depth I was brought into the memory was overwhelming… I never thought it still could be… But maybe I should appreciate it as well, for not many are blessed with such beautiful memories, though bitter, but beautiful…

Ah! I’ve blogged so much, and yeah I know you’ve read, you know who you are…

Anyway, after so much loso, let’s admire some beautiful graphics, none of which are mine since I’m lousy in graphics…

I love this the most… :) My current desktop ;P ... I think you can tell by my habit of posting my favorite picture the last, that I usually save the best for the last... :)